Doug (revdj) wrote in scrabbleplayers,

Nobody is yappier than my mom.

So my mother and father are visiting, and Ma and I were playing Scrabble. And she puts down YAPPIER for a Bingo. So I look it up, and it isn't in the Scrabble dictionary. And Ma is all "Is 'yap' in there?" And I said it was. "So one dawg can be YAPPIER than another dawg, right?"

"What I think isn't the issue. It isn't in the dictionary."

"Look. If you are more happy than someone you are happier, right?"

"Ma -"


"Right, but it doesn't matter." I knew where she was going.

"So why can't one dawg be yappier than another dawg?"

"There isn't an argument to be made here. It's not in the dictionary."

"So the dictionary is missing words."

"Ma- this is the Scrabble dictionary, its the rules."

"Yappier is a word! It's not fair to make me take it off."

"Ma, this is the Scrabble -"

"And you had all those cockamamie words last game!" She was referring to the fact that I had played AA and ULU and ZA, and showed her all of them in the dictionary when she whined about it.

"Ma, look. There isn't really a debate here. It's not-"

"Pop! Would you take 'YAPPIER'?" Pop said that he would. I had the dictionary in my hand, and I was feeling like Father Callahan in 'Salem's Lot as his powerful magical Cross started to fade and become an ordinary object.

"I'm not going to play with you if you cheat!" she threatened.

"Ma -" I began and then suddenly a new thing kind of snuck into my coconut. Having not experienced it before, I didn't know its name, but I think I am going to call it "Maturity." I did not like this thing. "Ma -" I said, "... you're right. I'm sorry. Put it down. Let's see... that's 87 points."

"See? It's a friendly game!" she said happily.

"Although a lot less friendly than it was a few minutes ago," I didn't say out loud.

And later in the game, when she asked if she could look up a word in the dictionary before her turn, I mumbled, "why? if it wasn't in there you'd just want to play it anyway." but aside from that I was perfectly cheerful and friendly, while this "maturity" thing made sure I continued to be so, as every fibre of my being tried to get its weight the hell off of my throat.

YAPPIER. That's going to annoy me for a very long time.
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